you do the math.

I've been thinking about getting married. (don't say duh) I've been thinking about it more in the practical sense. The...what is this going to look like sense.

On a day to day basis- what is this going to be like. Who will do the dishes? Who will do the laundry? Who will make dinner? Who will pay the bills? Who will take the trash out?

I suppose I've thought about some of these things before, but I am a little surprised about how much I have not thought about them.

Recently BK has been pointing out the distinction between thinking in hypothetical terms about issues and then thinking in a constructive way to come to an actual real life decision. For the longest time we only allowed ourselves to speak and think in the hypothetical. For once we are not only allowed but must think with the purpose of making a real life decision. We must then take those thoughts and decisions and act upon them.

This is a huge change. There are many adjustments ahead. I'm coming to the conclusion that life will never be "easy." But there may come a time when I have matured enough to take everything that comes my way like it is easy. I yearn for that day. A day when I live life with a joy, contentment, and zeal. What is zeal? I do not know- but I feel it is appropriate there.


I've always said- and hold this to almost always be true- that the state of my bedroom's cleanliness is a direct reflection of my current state of mind. Right now my room is a wreck- I am in the midst of sorting and packing. I suppose what my room is currently reflecting is a willingness to move on but a hesitation to put in the work.

I've had the desire to pack and move some things over to the new apartment by myself some day this week. Once I've moved the boxes in I want to sit amongst the bare walls and packed boxes with my typewriter. I want to pore out things there for myself. More than that I want to write a well deserved letter to a dear friend. He wrote me a beautiful letter some months ago- and I've yet to return the kindness.

There's a lot of work ahead and it starts tomorrow.