I've heard the stories and seen the movies. Classic tale- bride comes home crying two nights before the wedding and screams to her confused parents- "The wedding is off!"
Why is it problems come out of the woodwork once you get engaged? Perhaps it is the stress of the wedding plans- facing the fact that you need to grow up and be an adult. You have responsibilities- bills to pay!
Now- I'll settle your nerves....nothing like this has happened to me personally. I'm just thinking and speculating. We're fine. However- I think for the first time I am in that place and can see how people get to that point.
I think that for me this step into engagement and pending marriage have brought my transition into adult hood speeding into my face with a loud thud and a smack. It's a lot to take in and process. I've been slowly transitioning and settling for awhile now- but now I feel like it all has to be resolved at once. That's not truly the case, but it has forced me to take care of some things I had been putting off.
I'm once again questioning why I want the wedding to be a particular way. BK keeps pushing- let's get it done, let's just get married, why do we have to plan so much, why do we need all that stuff.
I can't seem to make him understand. But what exactly am I trying to make him understand? Why do I need A-B-C there in order to have D, with D equal to a perfect wedding.
I really am pushing myself to think outside the traditional box- think cheap- think green- think simple- think fast. On top of that I am trying to sort out my work situation. As much as I would like to just not take another job once my current one ends this week I cannot. I cannot just stop working for a month so I can plan a super fast wedding NOW. We need money- we have a lot of expenses coming our way.
Last light when BK was saying things like- "why do we have to send out invitations- why can't we just call people?" I became very angry and annoyed with him (sidenote- why do i need invitations). I reminded him how I gave him lots of time to propose and now he needs to give me a little bit of time to figure out my stuff. except that I don't just want it to be my stuff. i want to work together.
This post had a lot of stuff in it I suppose...
Anyways.
I am saving up used glass containers- things like spaghetti jars, jam jars, etc. Help me!! Instead of throwing them in the recycling bin (or the trash!) give them to me. I am going to use them as vases and maybe even candle holders at the wedding. they can be any shape, size, or color. The more variety the better.
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5 comments:
i will get a collection going asap.
any other items to gather?
Dearly beloved,
There is a point to that side of wedding-planning that suggests that seemingly random, "small" details don't really matter and it most often comes from the guy who, simply put, usually isn't the one who would know or understand the how and why of wedding planning. That is not anything against BK or any other guy that wouldn't feel the same way as you or I would, it's just kind of a fact that girls tend to be more detail oriented about the big day.
It's those little things that add up to make the large, memorable impact. The seeming frivolity of the fabric, the vases, the flowers, cakes, invitations (which you should definitely do....it is a staple, formal, and respectful way of notifying your guests that this is an important day, and that they are important enough to warrant a paper notification...much more so than any other kind of party or event that would use invitations. And also, it serves as a visual reminder to us more forgetful types.)
This is your wedding, your ONLY wedding--while you might want to just toss some ideas you've had out the window for time or practicality's sake, don't give them up too easily in the stress! Things like that have a way of working themselves out with the help of your friends.
I mean if you want to get down to it, BK's right, the point is to get married, and you don't really NEED all the traditional party stuff, REALLY, but think about celebrations--birthdays, births, baptisms, holidays. I'd say that the sacred, Godly union of two wonderful people warrants a heck of a celebration! And all of those things put into celebrations and parties don't ever take away from what we are really there for, they just somehow say: This is a special day, this is Liz and Ben's day. And it damn well SHOULD be your guys special day!
Of all the times in your life, maybe with the exception of carrying a child, this is the one where you pretty much get to have your way. You're not a spoiled brat who excessively spends and throws decadent parties and I doubt that's what you want to do for your wedding day...but you're the bride, I think it's ok to make your wedding the kind you want. Does that mean you have to spend thousands of dollars? NO! I think you have had ideas in your head for awhile and they are there for a reason. I think you should go for what you really want, make it happen...we would all be happy to help.
I hope this doesn't sound like I'm being bossy or anything...I've just gathered some thoughts about wedding planning recently and as much as you can tell yourself certain things, deep down it might bother you on the day of. Of course it wont really distract from the love you are sharing. You should really talk to Heather, she would be great help. I think she was really happy with how her wedding turned out between her going for what she really wanted and compromising on things, too. Compromise is always inevitable but you are creative.
It will be awesome.
i agreed "I'd say that the sacred, Godly union of two wonderful people warrants a heck of a celebration!"
but just to play devils advocate... could "all of those things put into celebrations and parties" actually take away from what we are really there for? like with christmas.
and just so you know liz, i dont think you should have to skip on stuff that you dont NEED just because its not necessary. like monica said, your smart and creative and you will figure out how to work out all the planning and compromises and accents wonderfully.
i think there is something very intimate and geniune about things that are casual and personal that you would expect to be formal. i like invitations very much (printed stuff is nice), but it could be really refreshing to be told about the celebration by the reasons for the celebration?
i think you should still do invitations tho, its too good a chance to pass up. and im forgetful.
invitations is an example...I am going to do them. Actually...Ben is designing them.
Joel- you hit on BK's perspective- distractions. He doesn't want a lot of distractions.
I think it is just a hard time- this whole marriage thing. We just want it to happen so much that we can become blinded or not always think with the right frame of mind. On top of that this was a hard week for both of us in regards to work. Things are looking up...I hope.
I second monica's thoughts. Couldn't have said it any better. And as she mentioned... you have many willing and helping hands at an arm's reach.
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