I am happy. As much as I feel "down" at times, ultimately I am happy. I need to get better at living that way. When I am dumb and feel sad I need to just kick myself and say- are you kidding!? Shut your mouth! You're blessed!
I recall the Bernstein Bears book with this such lesson. Children's books were full of good life lessons that were at times hard for my child brain to understand. Although my adult brain may understand the lessons it still has trouble applying them. I suppose that is the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
Lately I have wanted knowledge. I have felt a desire to know more. But what will that get me? More questions?
I should want wisdom so that I may understand the little I do know.
I suppose it is a balance....like so many things.
Their is a balance I have yet to find where I realize all the negative things about me but do not feel negative. Where I embrace myself for who I am and do not try to be something else, but at the same time I desperately try to be the person God needs me to be and wants me to be- for my own good and the good of his kingdom. It is a selflessness and an eagerness I hope to never achieve yet always hope to attempt to achieve. Does that make sense? I suppose what I am trying to say is that I must understand that I will never understand it all and never get it right, but while embracing that never ever give up trying. Right now I'm not trying, but I want to be. I suppose that is a good first step.
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1 comment:
Liz, this is a very wise post. I love reading your thoughts.
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