Media Attention

I don't know about you guys, but I read a lot of news on the web during my work day. One story that has been all over the place is the new Vanity Fair photos and article about Miley Cyrus. One photo features a backless Miley (15 years of age- also known as Hannah Montana) clutching a sheet to her chest. It's caused quite an uproar- because of it's "sexual" nature and the fact that she is only 15 and adored by children as young as age 4.

I have been drawn into the photo and I have to say- I really like it. I do care a bit about the fact that she is 15, and media, and young celebs gone bad...etc etc. But that is what kind of makes the photo. The photo- to me- is not very sexual. The sexuality that is present is kind of awkward. The whole picture to me is awkward. Miley does not "polished" and "glamorous." She looks a little uncomfortable there with only her bare skin. To me that says something deeper- about young girls in the media spotlight, growing up too fast, etc. I really enjoy the photo because to me it is not trying to say- look at this 15 year old wh is so hot and sexy and a star. To me it say- look at this 15 year old- is she really ready for this?

So...okay...that's all. Just putting it out there. Annie Liebowitz and VF are getting a lot of backlash about the article and photo, and I read the article and saw the photos. I do not know if they did anything wrong, but I really enjoy both.

43 hours with nothing but 20 minutes of sleep.

This past weekend I was on a team in the Philadelphia stop of the 48 hour film project.

See INFO here.

I had a lot of fun. I'll let you know if we win anything...I very much hope that we do win something.

I was awake for about40-43 hours with nothing but a 20 minute nap. I was amazed by my body and how far I was able to push it. It was quite a rush.

If you are into film and the 48 hour is coming to your town I would consider trying it out- it is a good time.

Plain Jane

Today I discovered my new favorite place for cupcakes. It is Grocery at 13th and Chestnut. They have the most pretty, simple, delicious little cupcakes. Only $21 for a dozen and $1.75 for one. I bought two because my lunch did not meet the $10 minimum on using a credit card. Boy was I happy for an excuse to buy two cupcakes.

If I had my digital camera with me I would take a photo of the delight in front of me and show you, unfortunately a little Asian is still holding onto that camera.

I got the "plain jane." It is vanilla, with vanilla icing, and covered in white shiny little globe shaped sprinkles. It is so pretty.

Seeing the pretty cupcake makes me wish I had a table full of these cupcakes at my wedding, and not the yucky ones we ended up with.

Oh...to do my wedding over again...

A thought

My hair smells really good today. I keep pulling my hair in front of my nose and breathing in deeply. Is this narcissistic? Oh well.

I volunteered my next Saturday to working on a project for the 48 hour film festival. It was either sleep in on my day off and not see my husband, or get no sleep what so ever on my day off and see my husband. Oh the things we do for love.

Selling yourself

Ya know...having a career is like a game. There are strategies, and rules, and competition. You have to move ahead to get to the end. This morning I think I made a good move- and afterwrads I thought...hmmm...I bet some people do that with a lie, instead of the truth.

I wonder- what is the prize if I win the game?

In other news. I started riding my bike to work- this is a big deal.

Effin Taxes

Our taxes our done- thank the LORD!

Now I feel at peace for another 12 months until tax time rolls around again....and BK says next year we should hire an accountant.

Here's an even better one!

WATCH ME

Animals are amazing

A coworker shared this with me and I knew I had to share it with all of you.


Monkey.

I am not feeling well today. I started to think I was getting sick yesterday and this morning it hit me hard. I took Tylenol and felt okay as I got to work, but it wore off fast and I started to feel TERRIBLE. At luch I went to CVS and laoded up on remedies.

I came back to the office and took a tylenol allergy, sprayed my pained throat with that awesome numbing chloraseptic spray. Now I still feel sick, but I also feel loads better.

I was thinking about how I am such a baby when I get sick- I just want to lay down all day and be waited on hand and foot. I know that when I get home I will have to suck it up and care for myself (BK is out of town again).

I am so spoiled. In my house growing up we had "sick privileges." This basically meant that when you were sick you were given an excuse to do and have whatever you want. You got to take up the entire couch, got control over the remote, served dinner where you were (on the couch in front of TV). Those were the days...


Now I am sick, at work, and have to return to an empty apartment.

Absence

Makes the heart grow fonder.

What's an exhibit G?

OH C'MON!!! REALLY? WHAT'S AN EXHIBIT G? REALLY?

No one understands that, and that's OK.

I need you to stick around, we go pink in about 15 minutes.

I have been lacking in updates since I re-joined the world of working adults. Oh yes- I am back in the movie business. I am enjoying the 60 hour weeks, guilty waste of paper, cheap (I mean thrifty) producers, and the gaining of weight (mostly coke, cookies, and pepperoni and cheese on ritz).

Last night I fell asleep on the couch with my husby. I woke up covered in sweat, terribly cranky, and sore. When I moved to the bedroom the sweat didn't leave. I woke up this morning- my body moist, and my mind afresh with hands down the wildest dream I have ever had. I wish I could have immediately come and shared the dream with you, but I only had about 25 minutes before I had to catch my bus to work. So you will have to be satisfied with this list of highlights:

- My father seeing pictures on my cell phone taken at some wild and crazy girls night where me and my friends decided to take pictures of all of us in our slutty underwear.
-Being stuck in the dirtiest cheapest motel ever- overflowing with mice.
-Joel Blaine shoving a giant furry gross disgusting mouse in my face and rubbing it in and not stopping even when I screamed and cried with the most heartfelt painful tears
-The cops coming
-Finding a secret getaway into a crowded mall where a film festival was taking place
-Telling some guys who shall remain nameless that they were all arrogant jackass' who were untalented and many other four letter words. Then starting to punch them and being pulled away.

-Then I woke up.

I am not yet used to working again. My body aches, my head hurts, no amount of sleep is good enough, and I feel ten pounds heavier.

I do not know how some people do it.


P.S--> HP 7 into 2 movies- hells yes!

A step towards freedom...

BK opened the sliding glass door and the air that is now pouring into our living room is extremely refreshing. It may even be spring like. It is moist and cool and fresh and welcomed.

It makes me long for the summer. I cannot wait for the summer- for beaches and oceans and sun...

I do not know that I have ever looked forward to Summer with such enthusiasm and yet such hesitation. I desperately want Summer to be here and now. Yet I am still adjusting to adult thinking- where summer does not automatically equal vacation and freedom. There is always the possibility of walking into a stuffy office on a beautiful day and wanting to be anywhere but inside that office. There is also the chance for disappointment- for vacations you wish to join but cannot because work must come first. For friends at far off destinations you long to visit but cannot because your pockets are empty.

I do not know what Summer holds but I hope it holds at least one enjoyable weekend in a scenic location- preferably a beach.

#$%&*

I f"in hate health insurance. Why can't it just be as simple as I pay this reasonable agreed upon price each month and in return they cover ALL health related costs up to this reasonable agreed upon amount. But nooooo! They have to pay a tiny amount and then ask you to pay the remaining hundreds of dollars. In addition to the amount you already pay them each month and the large co-pay. Oh and if you do not like that you can appeal. Then I am sure they will tell me- sorry- we still won't pay.

ugh!

Why I am already on a roll- what the f is up with taxes! Seriosly. Why such a complicated system. How about every citizen agrees to pay a certain fee or percentage each year and then be done with it. Wouldn't that be easy enough.

UGH!!!

It is times like these when I sure do wish I was not an adult. And times like these when I hope I get that job I interviewed for today....cause I need the money.

Mercy

Someone unwisely chose to violate the Le Sabre. They smashed the back window. As there was nothing of value to steal, they stole nothing. BK was just glad that they did not poop in the car.

Poor Le Sabre...welcome to the city of Brotherly Love.

Risky Faith

Something to discuss...

I was reading this blog entry which referenced this blog entry and then I thought some things. For those of you too lazy to click the links let me quickly get you up to speed...

Back in January there was an episode of ER that featured an old dying man looking for forgiveness and answers (he administered lethal injection to a convicted man who was later discovered to have been innocent and was troubled by this) and was visited by the hospital chaplain. This chaplain was a young woman who said things to the man like, "I think it's up to each one of us to interpret what God wants." The man called it "one size fits all crap." He wanted "a real chaplain who believes in a real God and real hell." The article criticizes the episode and goes on to say the following...

"Still, it is refreshing to see Hollywood frame the question and the issue fairly vividly, isn't it? Yet even in that framing, the picture is blurred. The "cause" being championed is yet another Hollywood favorite: opposition to the death penalty. Did the doctor actually do anything immoral? He had come to think so, and his grief is turned as a comment against capital punishment." (unrelated side note: lately I have begun to think how someone can be a Christian and be for the death penalty (side note: and against abortion))

"As I've often observed and remarked: the most gifted screenwriters can concoct believable monsters, deviants, heroes, regular-joes, atheists, agnostics, all sorts of characters. But the believable depiction of a full-orbed Christian character is simply beyond them. Evidently they have never known (much less understood nor liked) even one credible, practicing, Biblically-faithful Christian. It's the one color missing from their palate — as starved for ideas as they are."

"But Hollywood, for all that does captivate it, is not captivated by the beauty of the Gospel.

Nor, probably, can it be (1 Corinthians 1:18 — 2:14)."

This at first disturbed and, annoyed me; then challenged me, and scared me, and lastly made me think and feel many contrasting ideas all at once. As someone currently floating into the world of "Hollywood" I am often confronted with the idea that Christians cannot work in Hollywood. That Hollywood does not accept Christians, nor support them. I have been told that I need to be a light in a very dark place.

Is it true that "Hollywood" is screwed up? I would say a very loud YES, BUT the whole world is screwed up- not just Hollywood. I could get a job as a reporter, a social worker, a child care provider, a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, a businessman/ woman and STILL face a messed up world/ workplace that rejects the gospel and rejects what they think they know of Christianity. I might even go so far as to say that I could work in the church and STILL there face those issues. No matter what we cannot seem to escape this reality- SIN IS EVERYWHERE and THE WORLD AT LARGE WHICH WE MUST SURVIVE AND WORK IN REJECTS GOD. And yet- what does this mean? For me it means being a light in a dark place. Does it challenge me to write/ direct/ produce/ whatever something for Hollywood that does as the article put it: present a "believable depiction of a full-orbed Christian character?" Yes, yes it does. Am I capable? I quickly and frightfully say NO. But then I stop and say. The question is much larger. It is not- can I make a Christian piece for Hollywood, it is- will I be a Christian.

Did I take too big of a leap there. Do you disagree? I struggle with this idea often because most of the "Christian" film out there is terrible and I hate it. Movies that I might point out as presenting a very moral and Christian idea might be called garbage and inappropriate by most "Christians."

Where do we draw the line? This could become a very philosophical debate. We could go so far as to make this a discussion on relativism and say- Am I a Christian for what I present as my final product or what I indented in the making of it? If I work on a porno, but I do so with all glory to God what does that mean? Is it even possible?

I do not want you to answer that.

What I am really struggling to spit out is that the article caused me to feel things that contradict each other and I don't think I can accept all of them at the same time. It also stirred up thoughts I have been pondering and struggling with recently. I have been struggling to act on an impulse or notion. To step out in faith- To take a risk- to be bold and courageous. Is God calling me to be a bold Christian in Hollywood. I shutter at the thought. That would be just about the hardest thing ever. But how exactly do w go about being a both a Christian and working adult in the world. Can I both love and hate my job and what would it truly mean to be a working Christian in "Hollywood"?

I am reading James 2 and the above mentioned passage in Corinthians and pondering this.

Snow

I awoke early this morning to the sound of metal scraping along cement. It took my sleepy brain a moment to register what that meant. For a few minutes I felt as giddy as a little kid missing school. Unfortunately for me I am not missing school, or work. It is just another typical empty day. I wanted to get up and pile on the layers. Then I wanted to go run around outside and scream and laugh and throw snowballs at the windows of people I love.

I fell back asleep. Now hours later at my usual wake up time I wonder if I made the right choice. I missed the glorious quiet undisturbed snow. I missed the chance to play like a kid.

In other news today I found out a wedding invitation is coming my way in a couple weeks. This made me so excited. One- because I was not sure if I would get an invite to said wedding. Two- because I love wedding even more since the day I was married and have been wanting to enjoy another.

In more news...I love my husband.

Joel, I need to turn over a new leaf.

I wrote an entry, but it had a tone of self pity, and negativity. So I erased it and it is gone.

Now...on to life.

Joel, ...

I was thinking a little more about my previous entry. There is so much "stuff" lost from that time period. I no longer have access to my very first e-mail account, nor the ones I used primarily in the first couple years of college. As well- I have had to re format my computer a number of times since then. I have so many hours of e-mail, aim convo's, etc just lost. I have so much of me out there in the internet universe that has just disappeared...or has it? Does it exist somewhere in some crazy archive. If I contacted AOL would I be able to get those first adventures in email back? I might look into that.

I do of course have some things....I printed out and saved a large number of e-mails BK wrote me freshman year. I'm a nerd. Sometimes I fish them out and read them to him. Then he smacks them out my hands and blushes. Kidding...sometimes he hugs me and says, "I still mean it."

Note: I used "..." three times in this entry, and once in the title.

Joel, we change. It's just a fact.

My very first online journal still exists. I will not tell you where, but if you knew me then you may remember and be able to find it. I was reading some old entries I wrote those many five years ago and reflecting. My writing style and vocab was very different. In addition I wrote about very different things. Here is something I may have written (note: this is not a direct quite from my old journal- simply me writing what I might write today had today been five years ago.):

*******************

Title: "You won't let those robots eat me, oh yoshima...."

I did not want to get out of bed this morning....i was cranky and in a sad mood....esther textd me to get up so we could go see jamie at work....STARBUCKS!!!!!....CHAI!!!!!...jamie was not at the register so we could not get a discount..booo. we rode our bikes...I AM SO OUT OF SHAPE....i need to ride mre caus i am getting fat! i was so tred on our way back...esther was like a whole block ahead of me by the end....my lungs were burning....i need to ride more again...

my tires were so lfat and i wanted to ben to pum them up for me but he made me do t...tough love.....he did bring my bike up fromt he basement thought...i love him....he's the best....i can't beleive we're married....AHHH!!!!




*************



Wow. That was actually difficult for me to write. It's not even that good of a fake. Those typos are on purpose- I was notorious for a large amount of typos.


the end.